Last night, John Kerry delivered a speech that even the most devout Bush lovers would have to agree was articulate and intelligent. I am truly embarrassed by the ignorance, blunders and lack of leadership that George Dubya Bush has bestowed upon the American People and our image as a nation. How could we have elected a man who is so obviously stupid (or did we)? There are thousands of websites devoted to making fun of the misuse of words and phrases and the babbling of things that sound like a word, but is not an word in the English language that Bush invents while speaking to the public! It is outright humiliating that that man represents what should be the best of the best of our politicians. He is the living definition of figurehead. The real leaders of this country are George H. W. Bush and the CEO's of Halliburton, Enron, Unocal and the Saudis. I am ashamed as an American right now.

John Kerry speech was PHENOMENAL! He didn't stutter or blunder or misuse words and phrases. He was strong, he was direct and the delivered his message straight into my head (which is very hard to do, believe that). I heard every word he said, my mind didn't wander one time and it really seemed like he meant what he said. I would be proud to have that man be our new president! He didn't mudsling or name call. Kerry carried himself like a professional and a humanitarian, not like someone who was bred just to carry on his father's legacy and his family's business interests. George W likes to call himself the FORTUNATE SON. He is part of the HAVES and the HAVE MORES. He got where he is because he is corrupt and his family is corrupt and they have politicians and major corporation heads in their hands who are also corrupt. Throw an unlimited amount of resources on top of that and a controversial election where his CORRUPT brother is governor and VOILA! you have yourself a tiny, armadillo-chasing idiot making incoherent speeches and playing golf and fly fishing his way through a presidency~ one where people are dying, lots of people are dying! Not even the right people are dying, but none of that matters as long as George keeps the pockets of his contributers growing financially through war, construction and energy contracts. This will go down as being one of the most twisted, self-serving presidencies and "war" in all of this nations history. It is blatant genocide of the HAVE NONES so the HAVE MORES keep GETTING MORE.

I have so many better things to do than preach politics, but to tell you all the truth~ I AM SCARED!! I am scared for myself, I am scared for my family and I am scared for this nation! Sure Nixon was crooked and Bill got head in the White House, but BUSH is like HITLER! He thinks he can conquer the world, commit murder by ethnic cleansing, and send people to die when he chicken-shitted himself out of the military. He is a coward who hides behind his family's wealth and it is destroying people's lives! We are losing jobs and our HOMELAND SECURITY is like our SOCIAL SECURITY ~ it's dwindling! He wants to make National security his priority, but is shutting down firestations and cutting police forces in order to give the HAVE MORES bigger tax breaks. I am really scared what will happen if this idiot is given another 4 years to destroy this nation while he and his family continue to BANK off the Defense contracts! He can just keep picking nations to invade, blow up and rebuild, as his "BASE" people are raking in billions of taxpayers dollars!

It's been awhile, but I might just have to pray tonight- pray that in the next 95 days, the American public understands the urgency of the times, educates themselves and actively chooses a better way for this country to be ran. Kerry says Help is on the way... and all one needs to do to believe we need help, is to listen to old DUBYA give a speech written by the best writers in Washington, and mutilated by the biggest FOOL in Washington... May God Help Us All~~!!!

A Bushism a day....

a BUSHISM A DAY....

NOW I AM STARTING TO GET PISSED OFF!!
Thu Jul 29, 3:21 AM ET
By JAY REEVES, Associated Press Writer

BIRMINGHAM, Ala. - A federal appeals court Wednesday upheld a 1998 Alabama law banning the sale of sex toys in the state, ruling the Constitution doesn't include a right to sexual privacy.

In a 2-1 decision overturning a lower court, a three-judge panel of the 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals said the state has a right to police the sale of devices that can be sexually stimulating.

The American Civil Liberties Union, which represented merchants and users who sued to overturn the law, asked the appeals court to rule that the Constitution included a right to sexual privacy that the ban on sex toy sales would violate. The court declined, indicating such a decision could lead down other paths.

So basically Alabama is saying that adults do not have the right to consensual sexual privacy. The courts are afraid that if they grant people the right to stick jellied-coned shaped probes in their ass that suddenly people might think that it is okay to fuck their own family members. They feel that upholding the law will prevent a snowball effect ending in sexual anarchy~! I am sorry, I have sex toys, I have so many that I have to keep them in a fuking toy box~ BUT NEVER EVER, have I thought about fuking my brother or cousin or small children because I like the rapid-motion clit stimulation from my favorite Jack Rabbit toy! What the fuk kind of sick old bastards preside of the judicial system in Alabama! You can still use condoms there and get prescription Viagra, but god forbid you try and get a slim, glow-in-the-dark, pocket vibrator, because you could be arrested! WWHAAA WHAA WHA WHAT??????

Can you imagine how much fun it would have been to watch this decision being made?? what did they provide for evidence? Are the courts getting carried away here or what? Marijuana is a gateway drug to harder drugs and now sex toys are a gateway device for pure sexual perversion????
I would like to present you with Exhibit A, my all time favorite sex toy- one in which I have had to replace atleast a dozen times in the last few years!! Known by many pseudonyms, but officially still -=THE RABBIT=-

This model comes with a remote control !! Much fun! The entire shaft vibrates, it stimulates the labia with the little popcorn-plastic balls popping around, it stimulates the clitoris with the lightening speed rabbit ears with adjustable speeds, the tip twists inside to slap the g-spot in varying speed rotations, and the shaft has little french-tickler like bumps for extra stimulation in the shape of a HAPPY FACE!! This toy can make me have a gushing orgasm in less than 20 seconds! I LOVE THIS FUKING THING and WHY should the people in ALA-FUCKING-Bama not be allowed to enjoy it too??????? Thank god for DURCELL!!~

We should all head to Alabama with DILDOS in hand and have a mass orgy demonstration of people just beating off and play with their toys RIGHT ON THE STEPS OF THE COURTHOUSE!! EWW-WEEE!! Now that would be some good old southern fun!!

I told him to go fetch HIS toy!!!!!!!!!!

And speaking of dumb.... today's BUSHISM

Now you can buy Talking Dolls of the Presidents... here's some of the most popular dolls (and in paranthesis what I THINK they should say):

Reagan ("Umm, let's see, RUSSIA and DRUGS are bad! mmmkay?!" and "Has anyone seen my monkey? Oops, I mean NANCY"? and "Hmm, what was I just talking about"?*scratching head*),
Clinton ("I did NOT have sexual relations with that woman, I just jizzed a little from time to time on her dress", and "Yes, I did smoke a marijuana cigarette in college, but i did NOT inhale. I did get the munchies though for some of them 'der french fried pertaters mmm, hmm, with my homeade Bubba's BBQ sauce for dipping"!),
George H. W. Bush ("Read my lips, NO NEW TAXES"!*fingers crossed* and "I think I will Call him MINI-ME"!!*biting pinky finger* and "Saddam, My friend and part of my family, can I call you Saddam Bush"? and last but not least the
GEORGE DUBYA DOLL:

Here's is what GWB's doll should say when you pull the string:
"I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein." —George W. Bush,
May 25, 2004 (please HAND it back Mr. Bush!)

"Earlier today, the Libyan government released Fathi Jahmi. She's a local government official who was imprisoned in 2002 for advocating free speech and democracy." —George W. Bush, citing Jahmi, who is a man, in a speech paying tribute to women reformers during International Women's Week, Washington, D.C., March 12, 2004 (GENDER IDENTIFICATION PROBLEMS EXAMPLE ONE)

"More Muslims have died at the hands of killers than — I say more Muslims — a lot of Muslims have died — I don't know the exact count — at Istanbul. Look at these different places around the world where there's been tremendous death and destruction because killers kill." —George W. Bush, Jan. 29, 2004 (DOH!)

"So thank you for reminding me about the importance of being a good mom and a great volunteer as well." —George W. Bush, St. Louis, Jan. 5, 2004 (GENDER IDENTIFICATION PROBLEMS EXAMPLE TWO)

"As you know, these are open forums, you're able to come and listen to what I have to say." —George W. Bush, Washington D.C.Oct. 28, 2003 (OPEN MOUTH, INSERT FOOT)

"I'm also not very analytical. You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things." —George W. Bush, aboard Air Force One, June 4, 2003 (a very obvious truism)

"I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I can't answer your question."
—In response to a question about whether he wished he could take back any of his answers in the first debate. Reynoldsburg, Ohio, Oct. 4, 2000 (because no one told you what to say, huh?)

"...more and more of our imports are coming from overseas." -- On NPR's Morning Edition (9/26) (*smashing head against wall*)

"The woman who knew that I had dyslexia--I never interviewed her." --Orange, Calif., Sept. 15, 2000 (*smashing head harder*)

"We don't believe in planners and deciders making the decisions on behalf of Americans."—Scranton, Pa., Sept. 6, 2000 (really??)

"And I am an optimistic person. I guess if you want to try to find something to be pessimistic about, you can find it, no matter how hard you look, you know?"—Washington, D.C., June 15, 2004 (Um, actually, no Dubya, I don't know what the fuk you are talking about.)

"I want to thank my friend, Sen. Bill Frist, for joining us today. … He married a Texas girl, I want you to know. (Laughter.) Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me."—Nashville, Tenn., May 27, 2004(GENDER IDENTIFICATION PROBLEMS EXAMPLE THREE)

"First, let me make it very clear, poor people aren't necessarily killers. Just because you happen to be not rich doesn't mean you're willing to kill."—Washington, D.C., May 19, 2003 (proof is in that there puddin, eh Dubya?)

"There's an old saying in Tennessee—I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee—that says, fool me once, shame on—shame on you. Fool me—you can't get fooled again."—Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002 (part words of wisdom/ part rolling stones)

WARNING!!! TO ALL FORMER, FUTURE and POTENTIALLY-TOO-LATE-TO-DO-ANYTHING-ABOUT-IT-YET-TO-EARLY-TO-TELL SPERM DONORS!!!

The world is full of lying, skank-bitches who want to use your for your bank account, some who want to use your for your sperm, and some who want and will get both!! Be Afraid! Be very afraid!! What seems like a no-brainer~ a simple dirty magazine, quick wank-off and a few extra bills in your pocket~ may come back to haunt you! Look what this evil whore did... for full story follow the link below.

Court Rules Sperm Donor Must Pay Support

Fri Jul 23, 8:40 PM ET
By MARK SCOLFORO, Associated Press Writer
HARRISBURG, Pa. - A state appeals court ruled that a verbal agreement between a woman and her sperm donor was invalid, and ordered the man to pay child support for the woman's twins.

The three-judge panel ruled Thursday that the deal between Joel McKiernan and Ivonne Ferguson in which McKiernan donated his sperm and would not be obligated to pay any support was unenforceable because of "legal, equitable and moral principles."
Despite an agreement that appeared to be a binding contract, the father is obligated to provide financial support, the court decided.

The word has leaked that Bin Laden has been captured and is in custody of the U.S. but that this news is being withheld from the public in order to disrupt the Democratic National Convention which officially nominates John Forbes Kerry 3 days from now. This is the "weasle's" way of stealing JFK's thunder. I have yet to validate this rumor whatsoever except for this picture I found on INTERNETWEEKLY.ORG

It would only make sense Bin would want "Shrub" back in office, as that keeps him alive and wealthy! Bin Flacid??

TODAY's "What-the-Fuk-is-Really-Going-on-Here?" Top Stories:
1. Woman Who Sold Sex Toy Has Charges Dropped:

A Texas woman charged with violating obscenity laws for selling a sexual toy and explaining to her customer how to use it has had the case against her dismissed, court officials said on Monday.

Joanne Webb, a mother of three and a former schoolteacher in the town of Burleson near Forth Worth, was facing up to a year in jail after she sold a vibrator at a private party to two undercover police officers posing as a married couple.
The case received national attention because it touched off a debate on whether a person should be jailed for selling vibrators to adults.
Texas law allows for the sale of sexual toys as long as they are billed as novelties. But when a person markets the items in a direct manner that shows how they are used in sex, it is considered criminal obscenity.

BAD MOVE!! First of all, without instructions on proper use, WHO KNOWS what CRAZY things people would employ their new 'toy' for ... case in point:

Secondly, STUPID FUKIN TEXAS is known WORLDWIDE for having the BIGGEST DILDO OF ALL!! Case in point...

2. Singer Linda Ronstadt Ejected by Las Vegas Casino

Singer Linda Ronstadt (news) was thrown out of the Aladdin casino in Las Vegas on the weekend after dedicating a song to liberal film maker Michael Moore and his movie "Fahrenheit 9/11," a casino spokeswoman said on Monday.
Before her concert, Ronstadt had laughingly told the Las Vegas Review-Journal that she hoped that the casino performance would be her last.
"I keep hoping that if I'm annoying enough to them, they won't hire me back," she was quoted as telling the newspaper.
A statement issued by the Aladdin said Ronstadt had been "escorted out of the hotel" just after her performance and said the performer would "not be welcomed back."

Guess she got her wish! POOR LINDA THOUGH! She nearly looks like Michael Moore these days, too!

> What in tarnation will she do now? No one has bought her albums in decades! Certainly she must be running low on the ol' cash flow? and all this for a cute lil' documentarty about lil' old GEORGE DUBYA lying about his friend Bin Laden!

3. Saddam gets job.
Instead of a lengthy trial, the US has opted to punish Saddam by forcing him to put on a Happy face and entertain the youth of america (secretly hoping, he too, will just bite the bullet from newfound sexual identity crisis).


GEORGE DUBYA! YOU'RE FIRED!!

Finally a phone I will really be happy to set the ringer to "vibrate"!! HURRAH!! (i can see it now... 'Hello! EWW! bad connection! please call me right back and let it ring and ring and ring *evil, perverted inner laughter*!!) 

I MUST HAVE MISSED THIS ONE!! DAYUMN!! This VP hopeful (hopefully) is a fine young cannibal! He looks like a combination of a few of the debaters I shagged in high school.... He makes me moist... HE DEFINETLY helps the rich, lil' ketchup-king, horsefaced KERRY get my vote!!
Hmmm... *note to self*... see how I can apply for internship in hopes of becoming the next Monica Lewinsky... work on callousing up the old knees just in case!!

Looks like he put this old lady on the left into shock... surely she must have nudged up against his package for this picture and can't believe it's not butter!

SERIOUSLY, this guy is FUKIN-EH-FINE!!! I bet he smells good too... Love that hair... must go read more about what he stands for, believes in ,etc... oh wait... WHO CARES!?!?!? {LOL @perverted self!!}

I got the JOB!! SO happy~! will make lots of money and get into great shape as will be running for 8 hours, often with NO breaks... definetly no scheduled breaks, no lunch hour, no smoke breaks (i dont smoke anyhow)... no sitting ever really... it's a physically rough job, but somebody has to do it!!

With this job, I may try to hone some new bar tricks... such as this one that i like to call PUSSY BEER!! (this acutally isn't my pussy... I have NEVER seen this brand of MOLSON beer... BUT NONE THE LESS... I figured my horny readers might like a picture combining their 2 favorite things....

I have since decided that i need to bartend again.I quit the business to pursue a career in computers. I am a web geek and I love it. BUT~ I love to bartend. I am a true professional... I kick ass behind the bar. I remember all the faces, and the beers and always have a comment or question based on our last encounter (how's the new job? how's the wife? wanna fuk?) ... I make great money, although it isnt rocket science and not by society's standards a "real job", it is something I enjoy doing. I am a micro-business, a business within a business. I make as much as I aspire to make.

The truth is, being a cute bartender is one very powerful sexual position. I am surrounded by men, lusting for me. It makes me feel so good. I love the vibes I get. I love the comments, proposals and suggestions. I love the opportunities it presents me. Sex sells, Beer sells and sexy beer saleswomen make great livings~!

The Barmaids at BW3's (i am the one in the middle in the French Maid dress~ it was Halloween).

This new local bar got over 800 applications~ 800 people I have to compete with for this job!! But~ I have a second interview today and I WILL get this job... Let's Get This Party Started!

1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahhhh, it's cute.
3. Why don't we just cuddle?
4. You know they have surgery to fix that.
5. Make it dance.
6. Can I paint a smiley face on it?
7. Wow, and your feet are so big.
8. It's OK, we'll work around it.
9. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
10. Oh no... a flash headache.
11. (giggle and point)
12. Can I be honest with you?
13. How sweet, you brought incense.
14. This explains your car.
15. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
16. Why is God punishing me?
17. At least this won't take long.
18. I never saw one like that before.
19. But it still works, right?
20. It looks so unused.
21. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
22. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
23. Are you cold?
24. If you get me real drunk first.
25. Is that an optical illusion?
26. What is that?
27. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
28. Does it come with an air pump?
29. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.
30. I guess this makes me the early bird.

I been a little tied up lately and plan to be even MORE tied up soon ;-) You want PORN? you got it baby!

Last night I saw Kiss and Poison in concert!! I am a little embarrassed to admit it, but the tickets were free and the beer was cold. More importantly, I am even more embarassed at my juvenile, ridiculous lust for Rock Band Members... Even though this guy is nearly my dad's age... he is still one SEXY MUTHAFUKA!!!

This pose makes me wanna get on my hands and knees and be a good little groupy ho.

and as for that infamous Gene Simmons Tongue... GODDAYUMMN!! IT REALLY IS THE BIGGEST TONGUE I HAVE EVER LAID EYES ON... like a HUMAN SIT-AND-SPIN!!

and it has apparently always been that long!!

LOCK IT UP!!! before some other muthafuka comes and tries to gank your shit!! for example...