Now you can buy Talking Dolls of the Presidents... here's some of the most popular dolls (and in paranthesis what I THINK they should say):

Reagan ("Umm, let's see, RUSSIA and DRUGS are bad! mmmkay?!" and "Has anyone seen my monkey? Oops, I mean NANCY"? and "Hmm, what was I just talking about"?*scratching head*),
Clinton ("I did NOT have sexual relations with that woman, I just jizzed a little from time to time on her dress", and "Yes, I did smoke a marijuana cigarette in college, but i did NOT inhale. I did get the munchies though for some of them 'der french fried pertaters mmm, hmm, with my homeade Bubba's BBQ sauce for dipping"!),
George H. W. Bush ("Read my lips, NO NEW TAXES"!*fingers crossed* and "I think I will Call him MINI-ME"!!*biting pinky finger* and "Saddam, My friend and part of my family, can I call you Saddam Bush"? and last but not least the
GEORGE DUBYA DOLL:

Here's is what GWB's doll should say when you pull the string:
"I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein." —George W. Bush,
May 25, 2004 (please HAND it back Mr. Bush!)

"Earlier today, the Libyan government released Fathi Jahmi. She's a local government official who was imprisoned in 2002 for advocating free speech and democracy." —George W. Bush, citing Jahmi, who is a man, in a speech paying tribute to women reformers during International Women's Week, Washington, D.C., March 12, 2004 (GENDER IDENTIFICATION PROBLEMS EXAMPLE ONE)

"More Muslims have died at the hands of killers than — I say more Muslims — a lot of Muslims have died — I don't know the exact count — at Istanbul. Look at these different places around the world where there's been tremendous death and destruction because killers kill." —George W. Bush, Jan. 29, 2004 (DOH!)

"So thank you for reminding me about the importance of being a good mom and a great volunteer as well." —George W. Bush, St. Louis, Jan. 5, 2004 (GENDER IDENTIFICATION PROBLEMS EXAMPLE TWO)

"As you know, these are open forums, you're able to come and listen to what I have to say." —George W. Bush, Washington D.C.Oct. 28, 2003 (OPEN MOUTH, INSERT FOOT)

"I'm also not very analytical. You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things." —George W. Bush, aboard Air Force One, June 4, 2003 (a very obvious truism)

"I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I can't answer your question."
—In response to a question about whether he wished he could take back any of his answers in the first debate. Reynoldsburg, Ohio, Oct. 4, 2000 (because no one told you what to say, huh?)

"...more and more of our imports are coming from overseas." -- On NPR's Morning Edition (9/26) (*smashing head against wall*)

"The woman who knew that I had dyslexia--I never interviewed her." --Orange, Calif., Sept. 15, 2000 (*smashing head harder*)

"We don't believe in planners and deciders making the decisions on behalf of Americans."—Scranton, Pa., Sept. 6, 2000 (really??)

"And I am an optimistic person. I guess if you want to try to find something to be pessimistic about, you can find it, no matter how hard you look, you know?"—Washington, D.C., June 15, 2004 (Um, actually, no Dubya, I don't know what the fuk you are talking about.)

"I want to thank my friend, Sen. Bill Frist, for joining us today. … He married a Texas girl, I want you to know. (Laughter.) Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me."—Nashville, Tenn., May 27, 2004(GENDER IDENTIFICATION PROBLEMS EXAMPLE THREE)

"First, let me make it very clear, poor people aren't necessarily killers. Just because you happen to be not rich doesn't mean you're willing to kill."—Washington, D.C., May 19, 2003 (proof is in that there puddin, eh Dubya?)

"There's an old saying in Tennessee—I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee—that says, fool me once, shame on—shame on you. Fool me—you can't get fooled again."—Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002 (part words of wisdom/ part rolling stones)