N.J. Assembly OKs Ladies Nights at Bars

What kind of half-a-fag guy started this mess???

TRENTON, N.J. - It's unanimous: Women deserve a cheap drink, at least in New Jersey bars and restaurants. Despite an administrative ruling that says the ladies' night at a Cherry Hill bar and restaurant violated state civil rights rules, Assembly members Thursday said there ought to be a law protecting the practice.

Earlier this month, the director of the state Division on Civil Rights ruled in favor of a man who said it wasn't fair for women to get into the Coastline bar and restaurant in Cherry Hill for free and enjoy discounted drinks while men paid $5 and full price for beverages.

First of all, Ladies Nights truly benefit men MORE than women! Ain't no pussy better than cheap and easy pussy. If the Ladies are already out there drinking or drunk, it saves a man alot of time and money. Second of all, It kind of evens the playing field. Women's drinks are nominally discounted, but we honestly do tend to make less money. It gives us a chance to ante-up and get fucked up on our own budgets and we don't have to pretend to some guy that he might get some play JUST so he keeps buying us some drinks. Third of all, most bars are just sausage fests anyfuckinghow (much to my joy). Having a Ladies Night, brings in the Ladies! So whoever this Mighty Mouse meatpacker is who whined like a bitch enough to have New Jersey's Legislature waste their time and money on such trival issues, needs to have 10-pound dumbbell strung from his balls while he is tied up and in pink restraints and beat with those massive 24" dildos by a group of drunken, angry women. SHAME ON YOU, YOU BROKE, MISOGYNIST FOCKER!!

only this woman would want a man like that!

// posted by <-=Jamie=-> @ 6/18/2004 06:45:00 PM (0) comments

It all started with me ordering a Penis Butter Milkshake at Dairy Queen

Dairy Penis
Penis Butter and Jelly
Reese’s Penis Butter Cup
Little Bo Penis
The Penis Monologues
The Pittsburg Penis
International House of Penis
Penis Fest
Penis Hut
Dominio’s Penis
The Macy’s Thanksgiving day Penis
Split Penis Soup
Absolute Penis
Chocolate Covered Penis
Penis Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled Penis
Multi-Penis Cleaner
Two all-beef Penis, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, Pickles onions on a sesame seed Penis
Dr. Penis
Penis World
I Dream of Penis
McPenis
President George Shrub and Vice Penis Cheney
Mr Hanky the Christmas Penis
The Penis Fairy
Hot Crossed Penis
My Friend Penis
Penis Frampton
It’s the Great Penis, Charles Brown
Sex and the Penis
VHPenis
Mustang Penis
Penisgate
The Godpenis
Scott and Lacy Penisson
Penis, Paul and Mary
Mr Goodpenis
Get Penis
Saturday Night Penis
Diet Penis
My Two Penises
Night of the living Penis
Dear Penis
The Bold and the Penis
South Penis
Microsoft Penis
The Olive Penis
Good Morning Penis
Penis Stern
Scooby Doo and the Mystery Penis
American Penis
Applepenis
Penis Factor
CedarPenis
SpongeBob Square Penis
The Penis Chronicles
When the Moon hits your eye like a big Penis Pie... that's amoure!
Garlic and Angelhair Penis
Pepperoni Penis
Little Shop of Penis
Texas Poker Penis
Huckleberry Penis
Doberman Penis
Media From the Foreign Penis
SHOW ME THE PENIS
The Wedding Penis
Jennifer Lopenis
Sesame Street Penis
WalMart SuperPenis
Barnes and Penis
Sourdough Penis
I like big Penis, and i cannot lie...
I'm a little Penis, Short and Stout...
Twinkle Twinkle little penis...

I knew it was time to throw away my Barbies, when she was getting more ass than playing with Skipper or riding in her Barbie Corvette. BARBIE HAS TITS!! I knew nothing about sex except that it was supposed to be 2 people naked in a dark place for a certain period of time. ALL MY BARBIES EVER DID WAS LAY NAKED ON TOP OF KEN ON A WINDOW-SILL WHILE I WAITED FOR ENOUGH TIME TO PASS UNTIL I COULD GO PLAY WITH THEM AGAIN!! Barbie was getting laid so much, it wasn't fun to play with that whore anymore. Ken’s plastic hand was shaped and sized to perfectly cup Barbie’s Boobie. Ken lacked a decent package, but he still gave Barbie great oral sex. The final straw for me was when Barbie got knocked up and started neglecting her responsibilities. That little boozing slut, I want to be JUST like her when I grew up!!

There are those who are entertaining and those who want to be entertained. Sometimes I entertain myself because I am such a dork at times, and I make myself laugh over shit that other people don't find funny. For instance, we just adopted this dog from the pound. The Pound-Puppy Prick (the local dog warden whom I suspect secretely hates dogs and loves giving them the needle) warmingly named this adorable pooch, #55. So I take #55 for a test drive and instantly fall in love with this big-earred, son-of-a-bitch and decide, despite my hatred of dog shit, that I would try to be a good "mommy" to this little muttly.

On the drive home, we stop by PetsMart to pick up some new puppy essentials, including a dog tag with his name and our address on it. I am a sick-minded fuck, so I instantly veto all the names suggested by the people in my possee at the pet store.. SPARKY? NO!! SPOT? NO!! SPAZZ? SPUDS?? JACKSON?? NO! NO! NO!! Too common and stupid for me. I have to have something UNIQUE.... and in my quest for unique, I nearly piss myself laughing at my crazy-ass ideas. At first I wanted to name him Sperm the Big Worm, but my favorite idea was -=PENIS=-. Some folks say I got a penis fetish, I love cacti and have phallic symbols all over my house. I collect plastic penis gag gifts. Never met a penis I didnt love or want to touch. But this was perfect, because naming my dog would force people to have to say the word PENIS.

How funny would it be to hear my grandma call out for PENIS~~!! I never heard her say the word before, in fact, had I not personally met her children, I would have argued that she never had any penis before. The woman is asexual, I swear!

Please picture telling this woman your dog's name is PENIS and IMAGINE WITH ME her mortified reaction to me introducing her to my dog "PENIS". This had me nearly hyperventilating in laughter. My neighbors would hear me holler "PENIS!! COME HERE BOY!! COME TO MOMMA, PENIS!!" and they would think I was calling my boyfriend into the house instead. They would think i was PENIS CRAZED!

What kind of sick demented fuck, would name their dog "Penis"? I howled at the thought of my boyfriend's 2-year-old, going home to talk about how he spent the day with his daddy and Penis. HA! That boys mom would shit McChicken Nuggets right out of her fat, McDonald's -eating- ass! And if my dog, who is part Italian Greyhound and has the instinct to run like the wind, were to run off and be picked up by that cocksucking excuse of a Dog Warden, I would delight in the words coming out of his half-a-fag mouth...{ring, ring} HELLO? " Yes, This is the Stark County Dog Warden. We wanted to let you know we have "Penis" over here" and my response would gleefully be, "You wish you did"!!

Don't call me PENIS!

This is one 'Whisky Dick' I wouldn't mind sucking on for HOURS!! Yummy...imagine how happy the world would be if all cock was made of Vodka... women getting buzzed off sucking it and men getting sucked more than they would know how to handle.

This photo was digitally enhanced to remove "love handles" and the cock which was CLEARLY visible behind this CLEAR bottle of Vodka... See, no one is perfect... We have a store around here called Value City, and they specialize in selling things that wasn't considered PERFECT by the quality control experts during manufacturing. They call the merchandise "IF-PERFECT" and on the sales tag they show their price and the price that it would be if the item was 'perfect' (IF-PERFECT). Nearly all ads are re-touched, digitally altered to deliver a PERFECT image. We are spoon-fed images of "perfect" all day long, but even the models are IF-PERFECT. This guy, Jason Lewis, is beautiful, and I am sure the love handles wouldn't make me want to fuck him anyless. Why can't people love who they are and what they have... why spend your whole life wishing you were something you aren't? Fuck you Hollywood, show us the love handles! Believe me, I would need those handles for stability while riding this ABSOLUT HUNK! MEE-OWW!!

Are you a sexual addict?? Here is the prescreening questions that indicates that I am...

Answer these twelve questions to access whether you may have a problem with sexual addiction.

1. Do you keep secrets about your sexual or romantic activities from those important to you? Do you lead a double life?
2. Have your needs driven you to have sex in places or situations or with people you would not normally choose?
3. Do you find yourself looking for sexually arousing articles or scenes in newspapers, magazines, or other media?
4. Do you find that romantic or sexual fantasies interfere with your relationships or are preventing you from facing problems?
5. Do you frequently want to get away from a sex partner after having sex? Do you frequently feel remorse, shame, or guilt after a sexual encounter?
6. Do you feel shame about your body or your sexuality, such that you avoid touching your body or engaging in sexual relationships? Do you fear that you have no sexual feelings, that you are asexual?
7. Does each new relationship continue to have the same destructive patterns which prompted you to leave the last relationship?
8. Is it taking more variety and frequency of sexual and romantic activities than previously to bring the same levels of excitement and relief?
9. Have you ever been arrested or are you in danger of being arrested because of your practices of voyeurism, exhibitionism, prostitution, sex with minors, indecent phone calls, etc.?
10. Does your pursuit of sex or romantic relationships interfere with your spiritual beliefs or development?
11. Do your sexual activities include the risk, threat, or reality of disease, pregnancy, coercion, or violence?
12. Has your sexual or romantic behavior ever left you feeling hopeless, alienated from others, or suicidal?



If you answered yes to more than one of these questions, we would encourage you to seek out additional literature as a resource or to attend an Sex Addicts Anonymous meeting to further assess your needs.

You are Lust!
Sexy!! But they say that theres such a thing as too
much of a good thing. You have sex on the
brain, and it doesn't stay just there for long.
Passionate, Fiery - and most certainly
confident. You're a fun loving, spontaneous
person who is always up for a laugh. People
however, have trouble keeping up with you.
You're sex crazy, and perhaps need to tone it
down a bit! learn a little self control!
But, Hey, Congratulations on being the Sexiest Red
Hot deadly sin out of all the 7...


?? Which Of The Seven Deadly Sins Are You ??
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The first time I saw a penis was of course in the dirty magazines that my brother and I had found in my dad's hidden stash in the garage behind a box of Nails and Orange-off. He kept them in an old milk crate. LOTS of them. 70's porn, hairy bushes mostly, very little airbrushing, real women's bodies, and a few cocks here and there. But the first time I ever REALLY SAW a penis IN REAL LIFE terms, was the eve of my Freshman Farewell dance. I was going with a guy, a fellow serbian boy, who was among my first crushes. He was my date for the dance and we hooked up at a party that night, decided to go into the house and make-out. He grabbed his package without me really even knowing it, and put it in my hand! I GASPED! MY HEART RACED! I PANICKED!! I didn't have a CLUE what the hell to do with it, how to touch, how hard, what he wanted me to do! So, without thought, I PUT IT IN MY MOUTH! Seemed like the logical thing to do at the time.

Within seconds, there was this warm, salty, EXTREMEMLY-unexpected taste in my mouth, pushing hard against the back of my throat! GAGGIN ME! BLAH! I pulled that penis out of my mouth with my hand in disgust, and as i was pulling my head up for a fresh breath of air, I felt that same warm liquid shoot me RIGHT IN THE EYE!! Still had the sperm in my mouth as it hit my eyeball, i had no idea whether to spit or swallow! (I swallowed)FUCK! Brian was happily pulling his pants back up and I am dying as my eye was watering and the corners were starting to crust shut!

The time was ticking! My best friend's mom, who was also my mom's best friend and fellow BIBLE STUDY BUDDY, was going to be there any minute to pick us up~! I had to get myself together. My eye is hurting and the makeup was smeared from me trying to rub the sperm out of it, my hair was disarrayed and my breath smelled of cheap beer and cum! I was running out of the house, trying to maintain my cool and act as if the most horrifying thing did NOT just happen to me, when I finally found Colleen waiting by her mother's car for me, Christian music blasting through the speakers. Colleen asked if I was okay, and I explained everything was fine. She looked at me with weariness in her eyes as she reached up and pulled a big glob of what was the rest of the wad Brian shot off, right out of my super-hold, hairsprayed bangs. She flicked it out of her hand, wiped her hand on her jean shorts and pulled the front seat up for me to get into the backseat. She never mentioned that day again. And I never got a chance to thank her.

That was the last day of my age of innocence. By the time of the dance, word had spread throughout the whole school. I was knows at the "BJ Girl" (/ blow job). Hey, if the shoe fits, wear it and wear it with pride. But don't forget to cover your eyes!

Nemesis


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
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Your Heart is Orange


What Color is Your Heart?
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I will write more later, I am just SOOO busy right now cleaning around the house!

Jogging with these tits, can be hazardous to my health!