I never wanted to be that girl who loves things shoved in her ass. I've always enjoyed sex more than the average girl, but I really wanted to save one area of sex as a "see-even-I-have-sexual-limits" ace is the hole (pun is COMPLETELY intended!). Of course I have tried anal sex before... Once by accident, once on purpose. I didnt really know what to think about it before today. My lover decides to get his freak on for hours today and I was so intoxicated with sex that I felt high, so when he was dripping WET down my pussy so I could masterbate with my toy infront of him, he hesitated for a second while rubbing it in and the next thing I know, I got two fingers in my asshole! Oddly, I was overwhelmed with pleasure and as i spread my legs even further and took my ass- fingering like a man (again, PUN intended) I felt myself gushing with cum OVER AND OVER AND OVER again!! I CAME SO HARD I FLOODED HIM OUT LIKE NOAH!! And i thought he was the innocent type!
I went from AAA to XXX.

// posted by <-=Jamie=-> @ 3/27/2004 03:11:00 PM (0) comments

They say marriage is good because it is the RIGHT thing to do. BUT I SAY FUK MARRIAGE!~ what's so right about an institution that is clogging up the family courts with divorce and child custody cases? what's so right about a greater than 50% failure rate? what's so great about storage units filled with wedding gifts and empty houses? what's so great about giving the legal field another reason to have specialized attorneys? what so right about having some non-working bitch be able to collect from your social security checks when you are 80 and there is no one to wipe your ass for you?


if homosexuals wish to indulge in marriages... LET THEM!! there are a few good reasons to get married... and here is my top ten list of reasons to get married:

• 10. Health insurance
  
• 9. Crystal Butter dishes
  
• 8. Honeymoons
  
• 7. Watching your relatives get so drunk they certainly are in for a night of puking.
  
• 6. Having a legitimate reason to wear that Tiara you have laying around.
  
• 5. Bachelor and Bachelorette parties.
  
• 4. Being in church without the stress of collection trays
  
• 3. Ministers that only make the wedding couple feel condemned to hell
  
• 2. Watching women's makeup run that they spent all morning doing
  and the
• 1. reason to get married: Playing on the registry computer at Target!

Seriously, it isn't about LOVE AND COMMITMENT. Fuck, LIVING together is as much a commitment as marriage, just with cheaper linens and No Crystal Butter dish :-/

ME!! check out the results of my SLuT test... I passed with FLYING COLORS :-) SLUT-TEE, PROUD TO BE... Check out my award on the right there... 81% slut. =========>Said i am SLuTTer than 97% of the rest of the world! Y*I*P*P*I*E*!*

my vagina is angry... it wants laid but is out of commission today and probably the next few days... it is sick and tired of these useless days of the month... i figure, that atleast one week a month i can't get laid without complications and yuckiness... that makes one quarter of my adult sexual life useless... that pisses my vagina off... Clint, my clitoris is especially pissed off. He doesnt deserve the interuption in service at all and he is screaming at me right now... yelling about how men's cocks dont have to take scheduled breaks (not technically anyways).

Me being the extraordinary lover of cocks that i am would never deny my favorite penis, WOODY, the right to cum just because i am stuck with an angry useless vagina for the next few days... thank god i like giving head, huh Woody~ you spoiled rotten little cock.... so now my vagina is calling me names! just called me a "cock sucker" ~~ OH MY!!

WOMEN: please get on your knees and keep you men happy inspite of you being miserable bloated bitches... no penis was injured in the making of this blog =)

I know that I am anything but a typical women. I drink too much, had way too many sexual partners (82 men, 9 women), think marriage is an overrated, antiquicated fantasy realm and like porn way too much. Like my orgasms, I have multiple computers (currently 3 working ones) and they surround me all day, as I make my living sitting right here in my house on my ass working on them. Without question, one of them is always either downloading some porn, playing some porn, housing a DVD of porn. We unsubscribed from cable television basically after the last episode of SEX AND THE CITY, so I always just play and watch porn for my much needed "white noise" in the room (gets very lonely here sometimes). I only wish I had a HUGE fucking MONITOR so i wouldnt have to squint.

It is my belief that the room's "white noise" can be subliminally useful, so when I feel like loading up on some legalise, for example, I watch hours and hours of Court TV or Law and Orders, and am learning about laws or current forensic secret crime busting techniques while I do my computer chores for the day. Now, I feel it is necessary to load up on some sexual stimulants (porn, beer and a big cock) and perhaps learn a new tip or two. I need to feed this crazy sexual relationship I have with my live-in lover. I want to perhaps find a new move, or position, or sex toy or even some cute way to shave my pussy's hairdo (or sometimes hairdon't). I feel it is important for me to be the best lover for my luva. I want to be skilled and efficient. I belive it is working too because I am sure I have had sex over 30 times since March 1st. Maybe it is the pheronomes I wear, or maybe it is some underlying chemical and biological attraction. Whatever it is, it just baffles me.

Anyhow, back to the original point of this blog.... WOMEN, STOP WITH THE FUCKING WHINING ABOUT MEN AND PORN AND WATCH SOME!! you will love it, your guy will love it and damnit, it is just something women should do! Its a good example for us!! DONT sit and compare your thighs to Jenna's, just focus on the pussy. WE ALL HAVE THE SAME KIND really... and each and everyone of them are beautiful in their own sense. LOVE YOUR VAGINA AND WATCH PORN!! 'nuff said...

I am on a mission. I need new adult toys... I have a toy box (a rubbermaid container full of dildos, vibrators, motion lotion, handcuffs, straps and lots and lots of batteries), but they just seem to be boring and disappointing lately. Like Huey Lewis sang, I NEED A NEW DRUG and I think I found it! Of course i dont have enough money in my PayPal account for this new little bugger ($499.00!!), but people, feel free to donate any amount to Msluvy@hotmail.com Here is my sex toy wish list item...check this baby out!!
Thanks and many happy returns... COME AGAIN (and again and again)

BLACKOUTS SUCK!! No not the kind involving electricity either- the ones involving too many shots! I dont routinely drink to those extremes, but on occasion with the right group of rowdy friends and on an empty stomach, they do occur. And so last night i wake up at 3am and realize i am home and how the fuk did i get home and the last thing i remember is pulling up my girlfriend's shirt and sucking her nipples while all the dudes at the bar grabbed for some tits. (she liked it)...and myself being a female...well, let's just say the place went NUTZ. I'm nuts. I cant believe how damn immature i am still for a woman of 32. i woke up this morning and started what i call "the investigations".

I first go through a checklist to make sure i didnt lose anything... wallet (here), money (spent), credit card (in wallet), cell phone (here but temporarily disconnected FUK YOU SPRINT!!), keys (had to have those to drive home) purse, coat, bra, (here,here, here) panties (none) head (lost)

okay... now the questions... when did i get home? (10pm) where are my pants? (under the bed), how much money did i spend? (11$- thanks guys :-)~ did i get laid? (not at 10pm but at 3am still feeling drunk and giddy), did i piss anyone off? (only the bartender because of the BOOB scene), where did the full bottle of wine come from? and what the hell was i thinking buying that cheap shit? (wasnt thinking, my friend bought the wine for me as a peace offering to my boyfriend whom i must have expected to be mad at me), was he mad?(dont recall but after a hand job and two orgasms he woke up in a great mood)

first thing last... my car.. great place to find clues to piece together what i did and where i did it... apparently i hit a big pothole as i bent my rim, lost my hubcap and ran over my WINDSHIELD WASHER CONTAINER that was SUPPOSED to be UNDER my car, not my tire... FUK! NEW QUESTION... how the hell does one run over parts of their own engine? <====very confused!! no dents, good for me! sorry god, thanks for letting me make it home... i wont do that EVER again (crossing fingers).... damn i need a beer

why does the word "SHLONG" come to mind?

Would somebody PLEASE give this man a dollar!

WHY IS IT THAT THE MORE SEX I HAVE, THE HARDER IT IS TO CONTROL MY SEXUAL URGES? I AM A HORNY BITCH! I get laid everyday, yet i still have to fight the urge to go downstairs and pull out my Adult Toy Box (every girl should have one). I cant stop thinking about sex, I was out drinking last night and found myself twisting nipples the whole night! men and women's. i am learning to be in a monogomous relationship and it is hard, it really is! for me it REALLY is!
(sorry baby, you know i love fukin you more than any other man ever before you!) but i NEVER had to restrain my sexual urges before and i am still need to learn self-discipline. I have the most sexually satisfying relationship i have ever had in my life and it is turning me into an even BIGGER horny toad! I wear short skirts with no panties (not sure i even own any anyways) and flash beaver shots all around the bar... i make my boyfriend finger me to a gushing orgasm in the parking lot of the bar very near the exit where people are coming and going ( i came and went too ~doh!) i am a very very bad girl

A Voting Day Message to President Bush from a girl formerly known as MISS BUSH!!
here's to your re-election chances being SHIT and the end of your free ride as FIGUREHEAD...from me and all the women missing their men in the military overseas because you want to protect your family's oil wealth....


go fuk yourself~~!!