They say marriage is good because it is the RIGHT thing to do. BUT I SAY FUK MARRIAGE!~ what's so right about an institution that is clogging up the family courts with divorce and child custody cases? what's so right about a greater than 50% failure rate? what's so great about storage units filled with wedding gifts and empty houses? what's so great about giving the legal field another reason to have specialized attorneys? what so right about having some non-working bitch be able to collect from your social security checks when you are 80 and there is no one to wipe your ass for you?


if homosexuals wish to indulge in marriages... LET THEM!! there are a few good reasons to get married... and here is my top ten list of reasons to get married:

• 10. Health insurance
  
• 9. Crystal Butter dishes
  
• 8. Honeymoons
  
• 7. Watching your relatives get so drunk they certainly are in for a night of puking.
  
• 6. Having a legitimate reason to wear that Tiara you have laying around.
  
• 5. Bachelor and Bachelorette parties.
  
• 4. Being in church without the stress of collection trays
  
• 3. Ministers that only make the wedding couple feel condemned to hell
  
• 2. Watching women's makeup run that they spent all morning doing
  and the
• 1. reason to get married: Playing on the registry computer at Target!

Seriously, it isn't about LOVE AND COMMITMENT. Fuck, LIVING together is as much a commitment as marriage, just with cheaper linens and No Crystal Butter dish :-/