1. My all-time favorite movies are: One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Friday, Pretty Woman, 40 Year-old Virgin, the Fisher King, 9 ½ weeks and Two Moon Junction.
2. As a child, my parents never had me to join any type of dance, music or art classes. I never played sports, although my father was a race car driver.
3. My mom died when I was 26, she never really liked children. She nicknamed me ‘whore’ when I was 6.
4. I was four years old when my grandpa had a major heart attack while we were walking through the park. I somehow found my way back to grandma’s house and saved his life.
5. I was deathly allergic to milk, chocolate and pussy willow trees as a child.
6. I have eaten something with cheese everyday for the last year.
7. I gave CPR to a cat once but would never do that to a person.
8. As a child, I was a real pervert. I would only let other kids play with me if they were topless.
9. My father was my best friend growing up, and I developed a propensity to cuss from hanging around him and his buddies.
10. I saw a UFO when I was 13 with my brother. We were so scared we didn’t sleep for days.
11. I was invited to join the Mensa Think Tank Team when I was in 4th grade.
12. I studied French for 3 years and Spanish for 4 years. I can say FUCK YOU in 5 languages.
13. I white-water rafted with my family in the Smokey Mountains one hour before my brother’s wedding.
14. I attended a hippy fest when I was 23, where I smoked a joint laced with red-rock opium and cocaine and freaked myself out because I swore my one leg was growing longer than the other.
15. I raised several thousand dollars in two days to give one of my bar “regulars” a proper funeral. I served him the last beer he ever drank the night he died. He left me a huge tip, I owed him.
16. I have an adult toy fascination. I had to buy a large Craftsman toolbox for use as my adult toybox.
17. I caught my father’s house on fire twice, both times trying to cook dinner.
18. My friend’s think I have a penis fetish. I have 20 cacti in my house, they might be right.
19. I played Spin the Bottle with 13 people that ended in a naked love fest. A lesbian sucked the ball out of my belly ring, I never recovered it.
20. I once smoked a cigar with George Jones at the Steakhouse I worked at and he frequented in Nashville, TN.
21. My favorite month is August because I think the smell of hot dry grassy areas smell like sperm.
22. I have been to Toronto, Canada, Tijuana and Cancun Mexico but no other foreign countries. I have been to 26 of the 50 United States. I try to have sex on each trip instead of buying a souvenir.
23. I love to get dirty…seriously. I love to landscape and dig right into the dirt and be one with the earth.
24. I once had sex in a gas station in Washington D.C. I had pictures of my boobs taken in the Library of Congress.
25. I was obsessed with the religion and the PTL club when I was 5 years old, writing I LOVE GOD everywhere I could.
26. I still have my very first stuffed toy, a little clown with a red-striped suit.
27. My family was too busy to attend my high school graduation, so I skipped it and spent the day with one of my best friends who needed to go to summer school to graduate. I bought a Penis Beer Can holder, a case of Busch Light and we got tattoos while I should have been graduating with Honors at a local church.
28. I obtained a fake ID when I was a senior in high school that made me 21. I missed 38 days of school that year because of hangovers. I still maintained a 3.8 GPA and was nominated to Buckeye Girl’s State by my unsuspecting teachers.
29. I won the top speaker award at a debate tournament even though we never won a single round because my partner had a horrible Speech impediment caused by a hole in the roof of her mouth.
30. My favorite places to shop are: World Market, Lowe’s, eBay and the Goodwill, I haven’t been to a mall in 3 years.
31. I cannot stand people who are hypocrites or think they own other people. I hate it when they introduce their spouse as MY HUSBAND. Does he have a name or is that your way of pissing on him to mark your territory?
32. My first crush was on Danny White, then the Quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys.
33. I have never been to New York City or Las Vegas in fear I would love it so much that I would never come back.
34. The first time I had sex with a girl was when I was 25, she wined and dined me for months before I ever had enough guts to let her please me. I liked it, we did it again (and again and again).
35. My goal is to have sex with 100 people before I die. I am 6 shy of reaching that goal.
36. I smuggled steroids from Mexico in the brake light compartment of my rented Volvo for my boyfriend. Men on steroids are insane. I got sick of his ‘roid rage’ and him constantly eating chicken. He got big muscles, I got the fuck out.
37. My gynecologist prescribes me Xanax.
38. I have never been able to be faithful in a relationship, ever.
39. I have had sex in over a dozen local bar bathrooms.
40. I never watch TV. I cannot sit still long enough and I hate having a ‘schedule’ of what and when some studio decides to entertain me.

41. My Serbian family drinks Slivovitz, a plum brandy that is like liquid cocaine.
42. I have learned to live without guilt by learning the art of self-justification.
43. I have an extreme fear of attachments.
44. I have an even more extreme fear of commitments.
45. I never took someone’s virginity.
46. I spent two weeks in a stress management ward with the mentally unstable. I loved it there.
47. I could and have had fun in every possible scenario. I make the best out of whatever life throws my way and learn from all my mistakes and mishaps.
48. I once gave a man oral sex for a down payment on a car.
49. My favorite weekend jaunt is to drive to Amish Country for Wine, Cheese and shopping. Amish people are wilder that you’d think.
50. I don’t ever want to grow up or old.

1. My name is Jamie Jameson. I have lived a life full of socially unacceptable behavior. I make no apologies, and waste no time on regrets.
2. I have 5 piercings: Tongue, Belly button, and 3 sets in each ear.
3. I love to shoot guns and am an incredible markswoman.
4. The first time I got drunk, I was 2 yrs old, my grandfather from Yugoslavia gave me beer in my bottle at my baptism party.
5. My nationality is Serbian and Russian.
6. As a Libra, I have an OCD trait when it comes to everything in my life, home and work area feeling balanced, and am a natural at feng shui.

7. I wanted to be a lawyer since I was 5 years old.
8. When dining at a Japanese restaurant in L.A., I met Fabio, who was much shorter than I could have ever imagined.
9. I have had insomnia since I was a child.
10. I have a tendency to sleep with very inappropriate people in my life including my: landlord, professor, arresting officer, therapist, boss and dad’s best friend.
11. I am a self-taught computer geek by trade. I learned and love to work with coding, networking, websites and hardware.

12. I won several scholarships in college by writing essays while I was stoned.

13. I have two tattoos, the Sublime Sun and a Kiss on my ass cheek.

14. I have 2 Jack Russells- Sanford Brown and Mixed “Mixie” moods- they have ADHD.

15. I let one of my professors in college come to my house to bathe me on several separate occasions; I got an “A” in his class.

16. I went to Cancun for vacation and ended up staying for two months.
17. I once paid an escort to show my boyfriend the right way to go down on me.
18. I have $0/month entitled to me from Social Security when I retire according to that mailing they send out.
19. I am an Independent who votes mostly Democratic.
20. I studied law, psychology, geography, history and political science at advanced levels in college and got straight A’s, I smoked marijuana before class everyday. That, ladies and gentleman, is my brain on drugs.
21. When I am depressed I: sleep, shop, drink or all three.
22. My favorite male body parts are: that rarely seen little depression between the belly and the hip; the jaw, and v-shaped backs.
23. While living in Nashville, I ended up dating a guy from my first table I ever had as a waitress. He turned out to be a professional baseball player.
24. In high school I was on the Debate Team, was Historian of S.A.D.D., was a photographer for the yearbook staff, wrote for the school newspaper and was on the National Honor Society yet went to school stoned every day.
25. I lived in Cocoa Beach, FL for a while as a result of me randomly getting in my car and driving until I was too tired to drive anymore because I wanted a change.
26. I lost my virginity shortly after my 16th birthday to the captain of the Debate Team. I lied about being a virgin to him out of shame because I was ashamed of still being a virgin.
27. My first real job was as a bill collector for G.E. Capital, my first fake job was picking strawberries.
28. I was baptized Eastern Orthodox, raised Christian, converted to Catholicism before I started reading the teachings of Buddha and quit going to church completely because I hate organized religion.
29. I blackout every time I drink more than three shots of tequila.
30. I always lie about my real age and weight. I’m a women, it’s my right.
31. I was a bartender for 5 years where I made more money in one year than my parents ever had.
32. I saved my brother from drowning in Daytona Beach by swimming him to shore being choked the whole way. I was 10 and he was 8. My mother never noticed as she drank strawberry daiquiris on the beach.
33. I always buy happy meals when I see people on the street with signs saying they will work for food, just standing there is work enough.
34. I bruise extremely easy, always have. Fuck bruises make cheating especially hard to get away with.
35. I saw my first porno magazine when I was 8 in my father’s garage.
36. I started my period and had to wear a bra when I was 9 years old.
37. I couldn’t read until I was in 3rd grade when I was finally diagnosed with ADHD and medicated with Methphenydate (Ritalin). I am still taking medication for my ADD, only now it’s Adderall (mixed amphetamines salts).
38. I was on TV once when I was pulled up on stage to assist a comedian at the Improv in Chicago. I wish I would have known before hand I would have wore undies with that mini-skirt.
39. I dated two men and owned 2 dogs that were mono-orchid (having only one testicle). Got nuts?
40. I blew $50,000 in 2 years, traveling, partying and gifting the people I love.
41. My favorite Holiday is Cinco de Mayo and St. Patty’s Day because they don’t involve cards or family and do include heavy drinking.
42. I have never had a 401k plan.
43. I own only one pair of underwear that I only keep to wear to funerals and weddings.
44. When I am thirsty, I opt for either a Miller Lite, cosmopolitan, apple martini, cold water, diet pepsi, or a diet Rock Star.
45. I had my first kiss in 7th grade by a boy named John King in the bushes in front of my house. He touched my boob, and I thought I peed myself.
46. I ran away once in high school, but only got as far as those same bushes where I gave some kid oral sex while watching my friends and family ‘search’ for me.
47. I had my first audition for a play at the age of 29 when I read for the Vagina Monologues.
48. My best friends and I had a contest one summer to see who could get laid by more people before the start of the new school year. I lost with a total of 10 to my friend who had 13.
49. I gave my landlord oral sex for years instead of paying rent.
50. I once was offered and made $500 to have four used car salesman watch a lesbian girl give me oral sex for 20 minutes in a hotel room in Youngstown, where else can you make $1500/hour?

It's the end of the blog-world and we know it...

Bloggers take note: Corportate Lobbyists are NOT happy with all the space FREE BLOGGERS use and how BLOG sites are topping Google and other Search engines. Big corporate suckwads are bedding with certain Congressman in an attempt to pass a new bill called Net Neutrality. Here is a quick glimpse of what's happening on the site, Save theInternet.com:

Congress is pushing a law that would abandon the Internet's First Amendment -- a principle called Network Neutrality that prevents companies like AT&T, Verizon and Comcast from deciding which Web sites work best for you -- based on what site pays them the most. If the public doesn't speak up now, our elected officials will cave to a multi-million dollar lobbying campaign.

DO YOU LOVE YOUR MYSPACE?? THEN SAVE THE INTERNET OR BYEBYE TOM!!!

A mulitple choice quiz: what excuse do you have for not voting?

1. I am a lazy fuck who would rather bitch than act on things

2. I am a corporate fuckwad who has much financial gain potential in this.

3. I DID VOTE, JAMIE, I DID!! AREN'T YOU SO PROUD OF ME!!!!

Correct answer: 3, and yes darling, I am proud of you!!!!

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:	The Juice
Birthday:	Nunya Bizness but will tell you it wasn't last night
Birthplace:	hospital bed
Current Location:	out there
Eye Color:	Depends
Hair Color:	Also depends
Height:	5'6"
Right Handed or Left Handed:	Right for sure
Your Heritage:	Serbian
The Shoes You Wore Today:	Ugg Boots
Your Weakness:	One night stands
Your Fears:	getting fat, growing old, going bald, losing my teeth
Your Perfect Pizza:	Bianco (no sauce) Cheese and Big Sausage Chunks
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	Start my own business
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	gotta pee BRB
Thoughts First Waking Up:	eww, i gotta pee
Your Best Physical Feature:	boobs
Your Bedtime:	Completely whacky sleep schedule
Your Most Missed Memory:	Being allowed to play with my friends with no shirt on in the summertime.
Pepsi or Coke:	Diet Pepsi/A,mstel Lite
MacDonalds or Burger King:	Taco Hell for their fountain Diet Pepsi
Single or Group Dates:	Group
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	yuck! no tea or coffee for me EVER
Chocolate or Vanilla:	Vanilla with optional Chocoloate Syrup
Cappuccino or Coffee:	NYUCK!~
Do you Smoke:	not cigarettes- blah!
Do you Swear:	FUCK NO!
Do you Sing:	In the shower
Do you Shower Daily:	try to, like japenese mineral salt baths too
Have you Been in Love:	I suppose so
Do you want to go to College:	I did
Do you want to get Married:	nope
Do you belive in yourself:	yes, i have to or no one else will
Do you get Motion Sickness:	only on rides that go round and round in circles real fast
Do you think you are Attractive:	I am too sexy for this quiz ;-)
Are you a Health Freak:	Not really, but I ain't a death freak either- so there ya go.
Do you get along with your Parents:	I truly and deeply respect my father, he always allowed me to be me and loved me inspite of that.
Do you like Thunderstorms:	yes, feel safe and i'd even go as far as to say they are sexy
Do you play an Instrument:	the radio, and my date's skin flute every now and again
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	oh god yes, question is have I NOT drank
In the past month have you Smoked:	not cigarettes ya fuk, already answered this stupid sheeyat
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	what would make you ask that? hmmmm????
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	i live with a date
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	no, fuck those conformist mall people
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	absolutely not in the past month, not ever
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	Jesus god no, nasty
In the past month have you been on Stage:	only in my dreams
In the past month have you been Dumped:	no, but i've taken a few
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	yeah, alone in my Japanese spa baths
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	I don't need to steal, i can fast talk you outta anything much easier
Ever been Drunk:	as a bartender, I WORKED drunk daily
Ever been called a Tease:	prolly been called most everything at some point
Ever been Beaten up:	no, just beaten as a child CONSTANTLY for being hyperactive
Ever Shoplifted:	NOT on purpose NO, never
How do you want to Die:	murder- finding my celebrity status postmordem from a law changing precident named after me
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	Oh, don't worry about this, I am NEVER growing up, ya dig??
What country would you most like to Visit:	Greece- St. Olympus, home to my idol Aphrodite
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:	Dark Brown
Favourite Hair Color:	Black or Dark Brown
Short or Long Hair:	either as long as it looks sexy on him, but total bald makes me nervous
Height:	taller than me
Weight:	5lbs
Best Clothing Style:	Perfect fitting, worn blue jeans, no shirt, and no shoes~ yummy :-)*
Number of Drugs I have taken:	probably everything but heroin and quaaludes (too young)
Number of CDs I own:	900
Number of Piercings:	6
Number of Tattoos:	2/3
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	i cannot and will not waste my time on regrets

Now, I will be the first person to admit that I’ve done my share of sleeping around and as a result of it, I’ve learned that the key word in ‘one-night stand’ is NIGHT. I hate the morning after "show" we put on in order to make ourselves feel better and not appear to be a cold-hearted, sex-driven predator. Nothing is more dreadful to me than waking up and realizing that they are still there in my bed and now my piece of ass has become a pain in my ass. I have come to believe most men can easily be categorized in one of 10 morning-after personalities:

1. The Straggler – This is the guy who takes forever getting ready to leave. Whether it be his 5-minute-long morning-woody pee or his inability to gather up all his belongings and get up out of there, the straggler will stay until forcibly removed.

2. The Talker - This is the guy who will talk as a means to extend his stay. He either talks because of he is nervous or extremely desperate for friends. Either way, that voice will resonate like thunder in your aching head and you will want to stab him in the throat with a pencil just to make him shut the hell up. Seriously.

3. The Beggar - This is the guy who mistakes you for a Waffle House line cook and expects breakfast. Give this one a Yahoo Map to the nearest McDonalds and get him the hell out of there before he demands you do his laundry too.

4. The Co-Dependent – This is the guy who mistakes a night of throwing down in the sack as the beginning of a new relationship. This is definitely not the way to meet your future ex-husband, but rest assured, you’ve just met your new stalker.

5. The Liar - This is the guy who just happened to forget one tiny little detail - that he’s married or in a long-term relationship or that he still lives with his mother. No need to give this one a fake number, he won’t be calling for sure.

6. The Jerk - This is the guy who wakes up as Mr. Hyde. Even Ted Bundy made good first impressions, so don’t beat yourself up over this bad judgment call. Make sure you tell him how bad he is in bed as you slam the door shut behind him.

7. The Sleeper Creeper - You cannot wake up this one. He sleeps like he is in a coma and no matter how loud you drop things, yawn, yell at your dog, anything to make it seem like you are not trying to be loud, you cannot accidentally rouse him. You must figure out a way to wake him despite it being awkward or he will be there until noon and you will be a prisoner of this sleeping beauty’s R.E.M. cycles.

8. The Stud - Here is a man who is insatiable. He’s still drunk, you’re still drunk, he’s still horny, you’re still horny. Better call off work that day because this one-night stand may be more like a one-night-morning-and-afternoon stand.

9. The Elephant Man - WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? Tequila! Helping women lower their standards for years! Do whatever you have to do to get this one out, sight unseen and don’t feel bad, you just made his century!

10. The Gentleman - this is the guy who awakes before you, cleans up the beer cans and does the dishes without trying to disrupt your sleep. If you really lucky, he also politely shows himself to the door and locks it behind him- my personal favorite!

Please remember the key to a sucessfull one-night stand, is to keep confined to ONE NIGHT! This list was not based upon real people or events (yeah, right). No animals were injured in the making of this post.

Nothing makes the little shithead girl in me laugh harder than to watch people get pissed off about the little things they can't control~ especially christians. To honor my fellow hypocritical brethren, I bring forth to you on this special day, a little frequently known fact sure to piss off any jesus loving freak. I typed in WWW.JESUS.COM and it redirected me to this site http://www.mccchurch.org/index2.htm. It is an international christian fellowship that totes the following welcome:

"ALL are welcome in MCC...
a worldwide fellowship of Christian
churches with a special outreach to
the world's gay, lesbian, bisexual and
transgender communities."

ha! i am so proud of the gay community of christians! not only do they not worry about sexual bigotry, but they staked claim to the famous www.jesus.com! what would Pat Robinson think? can you image all the red-faced, gay-hating holier-than-thou christians who curiously typed in jesus.com in honor of CHRISTMAS? I think this site has renewed my faith in christians today!! what would Jesus do? he'd giggle I bet.