9.26.2006
50 More things you never wanted to know about me…
1. My all-time favorite movies are: One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Friday, Pretty Woman, 40 Year-old Virgin, the Fisher King, 9 ½ weeks and Two Moon Junction.
2. As a child, my parents never had me to join any type of dance, music or art classes. I never played sports, although my father was a race car driver.
3. My mom died when I was 26, she never really liked children. She nicknamed me ‘whore’ when I was 6.
4. I was four years old when my grandpa had a major heart attack while we were walking through the park. I somehow found my way back to grandma’s house and saved his life.
5. I was deathly allergic to milk, chocolate and pussy willow trees as a child.
6. I have eaten something with cheese everyday for the last year.
7. I gave CPR to a cat once but would never do that to a person.
8. As a child, I was a real pervert. I would only let other kids play with me if they were topless.
9. My father was my best friend growing up, and I developed a propensity to cuss from hanging around him and his buddies.
10. I saw a UFO when I was 13 with my brother. We were so scared we didn’t sleep for days.
11. I was invited to join the Mensa Think Tank Team when I was in 4th grade.
12. I studied French for 3 years and Spanish for 4 years. I can say FUCK YOU in 5 languages.
13. I white-water rafted with my family in the Smokey Mountains one hour before my brother’s wedding.
14. I attended a hippy fest when I was 23, where I smoked a joint laced with red-rock opium and cocaine and freaked myself out because I swore my one leg was growing longer than the other.
15. I raised several thousand dollars in two days to give one of my bar “regulars” a proper funeral. I served him the last beer he ever drank the night he died. He left me a huge tip, I owed him.
16. I have an adult toy fascination. I had to buy a large Craftsman toolbox for use as my adult toybox.
17. I caught my father’s house on fire twice, both times trying to cook dinner.
18. My friend’s think I have a penis fetish. I have 20 cacti in my house, they might be right.
19. I played Spin the Bottle with 13 people that ended in a naked love fest. A lesbian sucked the ball out of my belly ring, I never recovered it.
20. I once smoked a cigar with George Jones at the Steakhouse I worked at and he frequented in Nashville, TN.
21. My favorite month is August because I think the smell of hot dry grassy areas smell like sperm.
22. I have been to Toronto, Canada, Tijuana and Cancun Mexico but no other foreign countries. I have been to 26 of the 50 United States. I try to have sex on each trip instead of buying a souvenir.
23. I love to get dirty…seriously. I love to landscape and dig right into the dirt and be one with the earth.
24. I once had sex in a gas station in Washington D.C. I had pictures of my boobs taken in the Library of Congress.
25. I was obsessed with the religion and the PTL club when I was 5 years old, writing I LOVE GOD everywhere I could.
26. I still have my very first stuffed toy, a little clown with a red-striped suit.
27. My family was too busy to attend my high school graduation, so I skipped it and spent the day with one of my best friends who needed to go to summer school to graduate. I bought a Penis Beer Can holder, a case of Busch Light and we got tattoos while I should have been graduating with Honors at a local church.
28. I obtained a fake ID when I was a senior in high school that made me 21. I missed 38 days of school that year because of hangovers. I still maintained a 3.8 GPA and was nominated to Buckeye Girl’s State by my unsuspecting teachers.
29. I won the top speaker award at a debate tournament even though we never won a single round because my partner had a horrible Speech impediment caused by a hole in the roof of her mouth.
30. My favorite places to shop are: World Market, Lowe’s, eBay and the Goodwill, I haven’t been to a mall in 3 years.
31. I cannot stand people who are hypocrites or think they own other people. I hate it when they introduce their spouse as MY HUSBAND. Does he have a name or is that your way of pissing on him to mark your territory?
32. My first crush was on Danny White, then the Quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys.
33. I have never been to New York City or Las Vegas in fear I would love it so much that I would never come back.
34. The first time I had sex with a girl was when I was 25, she wined and dined me for months before I ever had enough guts to let her please me. I liked it, we did it again (and again and again).
35. My goal is to have sex with 100 people before I die. I am 6 shy of reaching that goal.
36. I smuggled steroids from Mexico in the brake light compartment of my rented Volvo for my boyfriend. Men on steroids are insane. I got sick of his ‘roid rage’ and him constantly eating chicken. He got big muscles, I got the fuck out.
37. My gynecologist prescribes me Xanax.
38. I have never been able to be faithful in a relationship, ever.
39. I have had sex in over a dozen local bar bathrooms.
40. I never watch TV. I cannot sit still long enough and I hate having a ‘schedule’ of what and when some studio decides to entertain me.
41. My Serbian family drinks Slivovitz, a plum brandy that is like liquid cocaine.
42. I have learned to live without guilt by learning the art of self-justification.
43. I have an extreme fear of attachments.
44. I have an even more extreme fear of commitments.
45. I never took someone’s virginity.
46. I spent two weeks in a stress management ward with the mentally unstable. I loved it there.
47. I could and have had fun in every possible scenario. I make the best out of whatever life throws my way and learn from all my mistakes and mishaps.
48. I once gave a man oral sex for a down payment on a car.
49. My favorite weekend jaunt is to drive to Amish Country for Wine, Cheese and shopping. Amish people are wilder that you’d think.
50. I don’t ever want to grow up or old.
Comments-[ comments.]
2. As a child, my parents never had me to join any type of dance, music or art classes. I never played sports, although my father was a race car driver.
3. My mom died when I was 26, she never really liked children. She nicknamed me ‘whore’ when I was 6.
4. I was four years old when my grandpa had a major heart attack while we were walking through the park. I somehow found my way back to grandma’s house and saved his life.
5. I was deathly allergic to milk, chocolate and pussy willow trees as a child.
6. I have eaten something with cheese everyday for the last year.
7. I gave CPR to a cat once but would never do that to a person.
8. As a child, I was a real pervert. I would only let other kids play with me if they were topless.
9. My father was my best friend growing up, and I developed a propensity to cuss from hanging around him and his buddies.
10. I saw a UFO when I was 13 with my brother. We were so scared we didn’t sleep for days.
11. I was invited to join the Mensa Think Tank Team when I was in 4th grade.
12. I studied French for 3 years and Spanish for 4 years. I can say FUCK YOU in 5 languages.
13. I white-water rafted with my family in the Smokey Mountains one hour before my brother’s wedding.
14. I attended a hippy fest when I was 23, where I smoked a joint laced with red-rock opium and cocaine and freaked myself out because I swore my one leg was growing longer than the other.
15. I raised several thousand dollars in two days to give one of my bar “regulars” a proper funeral. I served him the last beer he ever drank the night he died. He left me a huge tip, I owed him.
16. I have an adult toy fascination. I had to buy a large Craftsman toolbox for use as my adult toybox.
17. I caught my father’s house on fire twice, both times trying to cook dinner.
18. My friend’s think I have a penis fetish. I have 20 cacti in my house, they might be right.
19. I played Spin the Bottle with 13 people that ended in a naked love fest. A lesbian sucked the ball out of my belly ring, I never recovered it.
20. I once smoked a cigar with George Jones at the Steakhouse I worked at and he frequented in Nashville, TN.
21. My favorite month is August because I think the smell of hot dry grassy areas smell like sperm.
22. I have been to Toronto, Canada, Tijuana and Cancun Mexico but no other foreign countries. I have been to 26 of the 50 United States. I try to have sex on each trip instead of buying a souvenir.
23. I love to get dirty…seriously. I love to landscape and dig right into the dirt and be one with the earth.
24. I once had sex in a gas station in Washington D.C. I had pictures of my boobs taken in the Library of Congress.
25. I was obsessed with the religion and the PTL club when I was 5 years old, writing I LOVE GOD everywhere I could.
26. I still have my very first stuffed toy, a little clown with a red-striped suit.
27. My family was too busy to attend my high school graduation, so I skipped it and spent the day with one of my best friends who needed to go to summer school to graduate. I bought a Penis Beer Can holder, a case of Busch Light and we got tattoos while I should have been graduating with Honors at a local church.
28. I obtained a fake ID when I was a senior in high school that made me 21. I missed 38 days of school that year because of hangovers. I still maintained a 3.8 GPA and was nominated to Buckeye Girl’s State by my unsuspecting teachers.
29. I won the top speaker award at a debate tournament even though we never won a single round because my partner had a horrible Speech impediment caused by a hole in the roof of her mouth.
30. My favorite places to shop are: World Market, Lowe’s, eBay and the Goodwill, I haven’t been to a mall in 3 years.
31. I cannot stand people who are hypocrites or think they own other people. I hate it when they introduce their spouse as MY HUSBAND. Does he have a name or is that your way of pissing on him to mark your territory?
32. My first crush was on Danny White, then the Quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys.
33. I have never been to New York City or Las Vegas in fear I would love it so much that I would never come back.
34. The first time I had sex with a girl was when I was 25, she wined and dined me for months before I ever had enough guts to let her please me. I liked it, we did it again (and again and again).
35. My goal is to have sex with 100 people before I die. I am 6 shy of reaching that goal.
36. I smuggled steroids from Mexico in the brake light compartment of my rented Volvo for my boyfriend. Men on steroids are insane. I got sick of his ‘roid rage’ and him constantly eating chicken. He got big muscles, I got the fuck out.
37. My gynecologist prescribes me Xanax.
38. I have never been able to be faithful in a relationship, ever.
39. I have had sex in over a dozen local bar bathrooms.
40. I never watch TV. I cannot sit still long enough and I hate having a ‘schedule’ of what and when some studio decides to entertain me.
41. My Serbian family drinks Slivovitz, a plum brandy that is like liquid cocaine.
42. I have learned to live without guilt by learning the art of self-justification.
43. I have an extreme fear of attachments.
44. I have an even more extreme fear of commitments.
45. I never took someone’s virginity.
46. I spent two weeks in a stress management ward with the mentally unstable. I loved it there.
47. I could and have had fun in every possible scenario. I make the best out of whatever life throws my way and learn from all my mistakes and mishaps.
48. I once gave a man oral sex for a down payment on a car.
49. My favorite weekend jaunt is to drive to Amish Country for Wine, Cheese and shopping. Amish people are wilder that you’d think.
50. I don’t ever want to grow up or old.
9.25.2006
The top 50 things you never wanted to know about me.
1. My name is Jamie Jameson. I have lived a life full of socially unacceptable behavior. I make no apologies, and waste no time on regrets.
2. I have 5 piercings: Tongue, Belly button, and 3 sets in each ear.
3. I love to shoot guns and am an incredible markswoman.
4. The first time I got drunk, I was 2 yrs old, my grandfather from Yugoslavia gave me beer in my bottle at my baptism party.
5. My nationality is Serbian and Russian.
6. As a Libra, I have an OCD trait when it comes to everything in my life, home and work area feeling balanced, and am a natural at feng shui.
7. I wanted to be a lawyer since I was 5 years old.
8. When dining at a Japanese restaurant in L.A., I met Fabio, who was much shorter than I could have ever imagined.
9. I have had insomnia since I was a child.
10. I have a tendency to sleep with very inappropriate people in my life including my: landlord, professor, arresting officer, therapist, boss and dad’s best friend.
11. I am a self-taught computer geek by trade. I learned and love to work with coding, networking, websites and hardware.
12. I won several scholarships in college by writing essays while I was stoned.
13. I have two tattoos, the Sublime Sun and a Kiss on my ass cheek.
14. I have 2 Jack Russells- Sanford Brown and Mixed “Mixie” moods- they have ADHD.
15. I let one of my professors in college come to my house to bathe me on several separate occasions; I got an “A” in his class.
16. I went to Cancun for vacation and ended up staying for two months.
17. I once paid an escort to show my boyfriend the right way to go down on me.
18. I have $0/month entitled to me from Social Security when I retire according to that mailing they send out.
19. I am an Independent who votes mostly Democratic.
20. I studied law, psychology, geography, history and political science at advanced levels in college and got straight A’s, I smoked marijuana before class everyday. That, ladies and gentleman, is my brain on drugs.
21. When I am depressed I: sleep, shop, drink or all three.
22. My favorite male body parts are: that rarely seen little depression between the belly and the hip; the jaw, and v-shaped backs.
23. While living in Nashville, I ended up dating a guy from my first table I ever had as a waitress. He turned out to be a professional baseball player.
24. In high school I was on the Debate Team, was Historian of S.A.D.D., was a photographer for the yearbook staff, wrote for the school newspaper and was on the National Honor Society yet went to school stoned every day.
25. I lived in Cocoa Beach, FL for a while as a result of me randomly getting in my car and driving until I was too tired to drive anymore because I wanted a change.
26. I lost my virginity shortly after my 16th birthday to the captain of the Debate Team. I lied about being a virgin to him out of shame because I was ashamed of still being a virgin.
27. My first real job was as a bill collector for G.E. Capital, my first fake job was picking strawberries.
28. I was baptized Eastern Orthodox, raised Christian, converted to Catholicism before I started reading the teachings of Buddha and quit going to church completely because I hate organized religion.
29. I blackout every time I drink more than three shots of tequila.
30. I always lie about my real age and weight. I’m a women, it’s my right.
31. I was a bartender for 5 years where I made more money in one year than my parents ever had.
32. I saved my brother from drowning in Daytona Beach by swimming him to shore being choked the whole way. I was 10 and he was 8. My mother never noticed as she drank strawberry daiquiris on the beach.
33. I always buy happy meals when I see people on the street with signs saying they will work for food, just standing there is work enough.
34. I bruise extremely easy, always have. Fuck bruises make cheating especially hard to get away with.
35. I saw my first porno magazine when I was 8 in my father’s garage.
36. I started my period and had to wear a bra when I was 9 years old.
37. I couldn’t read until I was in 3rd grade when I was finally diagnosed with ADHD and medicated with Methphenydate (Ritalin). I am still taking medication for my ADD, only now it’s Adderall (mixed amphetamines salts).
38. I was on TV once when I was pulled up on stage to assist a comedian at the Improv in Chicago. I wish I would have known before hand I would have wore undies with that mini-skirt.
39. I dated two men and owned 2 dogs that were mono-orchid (having only one testicle). Got nuts?
40. I blew $50,000 in 2 years, traveling, partying and gifting the people I love.
41. My favorite Holiday is Cinco de Mayo and St. Patty’s Day because they don’t involve cards or family and do include heavy drinking.
42. I have never had a 401k plan.
43. I own only one pair of underwear that I only keep to wear to funerals and weddings.
44. When I am thirsty, I opt for either a Miller Lite, cosmopolitan, apple martini, cold water, diet pepsi, or a diet Rock Star.
45. I had my first kiss in 7th grade by a boy named John King in the bushes in front of my house. He touched my boob, and I thought I peed myself.
46. I ran away once in high school, but only got as far as those same bushes where I gave some kid oral sex while watching my friends and family ‘search’ for me.
47. I had my first audition for a play at the age of 29 when I read for the Vagina Monologues.
48. My best friends and I had a contest one summer to see who could get laid by more people before the start of the new school year. I lost with a total of 10 to my friend who had 13.
49. I gave my landlord oral sex for years instead of paying rent.
50. I once was offered and made $500 to have four used car salesman watch a lesbian girl give me oral sex for 20 minutes in a hotel room in Youngstown, where else can you make $1500/hour?
Comments-[ comments.]
2. I have 5 piercings: Tongue, Belly button, and 3 sets in each ear.
3. I love to shoot guns and am an incredible markswoman.
4. The first time I got drunk, I was 2 yrs old, my grandfather from Yugoslavia gave me beer in my bottle at my baptism party.
5. My nationality is Serbian and Russian.
6. As a Libra, I have an OCD trait when it comes to everything in my life, home and work area feeling balanced, and am a natural at feng shui.
7. I wanted to be a lawyer since I was 5 years old.
8. When dining at a Japanese restaurant in L.A., I met Fabio, who was much shorter than I could have ever imagined.
9. I have had insomnia since I was a child.
10. I have a tendency to sleep with very inappropriate people in my life including my: landlord, professor, arresting officer, therapist, boss and dad’s best friend.
11. I am a self-taught computer geek by trade. I learned and love to work with coding, networking, websites and hardware.
12. I won several scholarships in college by writing essays while I was stoned.
13. I have two tattoos, the Sublime Sun and a Kiss on my ass cheek.
14. I have 2 Jack Russells- Sanford Brown and Mixed “Mixie” moods- they have ADHD.
15. I let one of my professors in college come to my house to bathe me on several separate occasions; I got an “A” in his class.
16. I went to Cancun for vacation and ended up staying for two months.
17. I once paid an escort to show my boyfriend the right way to go down on me.
18. I have $0/month entitled to me from Social Security when I retire according to that mailing they send out.
19. I am an Independent who votes mostly Democratic.
20. I studied law, psychology, geography, history and political science at advanced levels in college and got straight A’s, I smoked marijuana before class everyday. That, ladies and gentleman, is my brain on drugs.
21. When I am depressed I: sleep, shop, drink or all three.
22. My favorite male body parts are: that rarely seen little depression between the belly and the hip; the jaw, and v-shaped backs.
23. While living in Nashville, I ended up dating a guy from my first table I ever had as a waitress. He turned out to be a professional baseball player.
24. In high school I was on the Debate Team, was Historian of S.A.D.D., was a photographer for the yearbook staff, wrote for the school newspaper and was on the National Honor Society yet went to school stoned every day.
25. I lived in Cocoa Beach, FL for a while as a result of me randomly getting in my car and driving until I was too tired to drive anymore because I wanted a change.
26. I lost my virginity shortly after my 16th birthday to the captain of the Debate Team. I lied about being a virgin to him out of shame because I was ashamed of still being a virgin.
27. My first real job was as a bill collector for G.E. Capital, my first fake job was picking strawberries.
28. I was baptized Eastern Orthodox, raised Christian, converted to Catholicism before I started reading the teachings of Buddha and quit going to church completely because I hate organized religion.
29. I blackout every time I drink more than three shots of tequila.
30. I always lie about my real age and weight. I’m a women, it’s my right.
31. I was a bartender for 5 years where I made more money in one year than my parents ever had.
32. I saved my brother from drowning in Daytona Beach by swimming him to shore being choked the whole way. I was 10 and he was 8. My mother never noticed as she drank strawberry daiquiris on the beach.
33. I always buy happy meals when I see people on the street with signs saying they will work for food, just standing there is work enough.
34. I bruise extremely easy, always have. Fuck bruises make cheating especially hard to get away with.
35. I saw my first porno magazine when I was 8 in my father’s garage.
36. I started my period and had to wear a bra when I was 9 years old.
37. I couldn’t read until I was in 3rd grade when I was finally diagnosed with ADHD and medicated with Methphenydate (Ritalin). I am still taking medication for my ADD, only now it’s Adderall (mixed amphetamines salts).
38. I was on TV once when I was pulled up on stage to assist a comedian at the Improv in Chicago. I wish I would have known before hand I would have wore undies with that mini-skirt.
39. I dated two men and owned 2 dogs that were mono-orchid (having only one testicle). Got nuts?
40. I blew $50,000 in 2 years, traveling, partying and gifting the people I love.
41. My favorite Holiday is Cinco de Mayo and St. Patty’s Day because they don’t involve cards or family and do include heavy drinking.
42. I have never had a 401k plan.
43. I own only one pair of underwear that I only keep to wear to funerals and weddings.
44. When I am thirsty, I opt for either a Miller Lite, cosmopolitan, apple martini, cold water, diet pepsi, or a diet Rock Star.
45. I had my first kiss in 7th grade by a boy named John King in the bushes in front of my house. He touched my boob, and I thought I peed myself.
46. I ran away once in high school, but only got as far as those same bushes where I gave some kid oral sex while watching my friends and family ‘search’ for me.
47. I had my first audition for a play at the age of 29 when I read for the Vagina Monologues.
48. My best friends and I had a contest one summer to see who could get laid by more people before the start of the new school year. I lost with a total of 10 to my friend who had 13.
49. I gave my landlord oral sex for years instead of paying rent.
50. I once was offered and made $500 to have four used car salesman watch a lesbian girl give me oral sex for 20 minutes in a hotel room in Youngstown, where else can you make $1500/hour?
