TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:	The Juice
Birthday:	Nunya Bizness but will tell you it wasn't last night
Birthplace:	hospital bed
Current Location:	out there
Eye Color:	Depends
Hair Color:	Also depends
Height:	5'6"
Right Handed or Left Handed:	Right for sure
Your Heritage:	Serbian
The Shoes You Wore Today:	Ugg Boots
Your Weakness:	One night stands
Your Fears:	getting fat, growing old, going bald, losing my teeth
Your Perfect Pizza:	Bianco (no sauce) Cheese and Big Sausage Chunks
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	Start my own business
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	gotta pee BRB
Thoughts First Waking Up:	eww, i gotta pee
Your Best Physical Feature:	boobs
Your Bedtime:	Completely whacky sleep schedule
Your Most Missed Memory:	Being allowed to play with my friends with no shirt on in the summertime.
Pepsi or Coke:	Diet Pepsi/A,mstel Lite
MacDonalds or Burger King:	Taco Hell for their fountain Diet Pepsi
Single or Group Dates:	Group
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	yuck! no tea or coffee for me EVER
Chocolate or Vanilla:	Vanilla with optional Chocoloate Syrup
Cappuccino or Coffee:	NYUCK!~
Do you Smoke:	not cigarettes- blah!
Do you Swear:	FUCK NO!
Do you Sing:	In the shower
Do you Shower Daily:	try to, like japenese mineral salt baths too
Have you Been in Love:	I suppose so
Do you want to go to College:	I did
Do you want to get Married:	nope
Do you belive in yourself:	yes, i have to or no one else will
Do you get Motion Sickness:	only on rides that go round and round in circles real fast
Do you think you are Attractive:	I am too sexy for this quiz ;-)
Are you a Health Freak:	Not really, but I ain't a death freak either- so there ya go.
Do you get along with your Parents:	I truly and deeply respect my father, he always allowed me to be me and loved me inspite of that.
Do you like Thunderstorms:	yes, feel safe and i'd even go as far as to say they are sexy
Do you play an Instrument:	the radio, and my date's skin flute every now and again
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	oh god yes, question is have I NOT drank
In the past month have you Smoked:	not cigarettes ya fuk, already answered this stupid sheeyat
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	what would make you ask that? hmmmm????
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	i live with a date
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	no, fuck those conformist mall people
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	absolutely not in the past month, not ever
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	Jesus god no, nasty
In the past month have you been on Stage:	only in my dreams
In the past month have you been Dumped:	no, but i've taken a few
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	yeah, alone in my Japanese spa baths
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	I don't need to steal, i can fast talk you outta anything much easier
Ever been Drunk:	as a bartender, I WORKED drunk daily
Ever been called a Tease:	prolly been called most everything at some point
Ever been Beaten up:	no, just beaten as a child CONSTANTLY for being hyperactive
Ever Shoplifted:	NOT on purpose NO, never
How do you want to Die:	murder- finding my celebrity status postmordem from a law changing precident named after me
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	Oh, don't worry about this, I am NEVER growing up, ya dig??
What country would you most like to Visit:	Greece- St. Olympus, home to my idol Aphrodite
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:	Dark Brown
Favourite Hair Color:	Black or Dark Brown
Short or Long Hair:	either as long as it looks sexy on him, but total bald makes me nervous
Height:	taller than me
Weight:	5lbs
Best Clothing Style:	Perfect fitting, worn blue jeans, no shirt, and no shoes~ yummy :-)*
Number of Drugs I have taken:	probably everything but heroin and quaaludes (too young)
Number of CDs I own:	900
Number of Piercings:	6
Number of Tattoos:	2/3
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	i cannot and will not waste my time on regrets

Now, I will be the first person to admit that I’ve done my share of sleeping around and as a result of it, I’ve learned that the key word in ‘one-night stand’ is NIGHT. I hate the morning after "show" we put on in order to make ourselves feel better and not appear to be a cold-hearted, sex-driven predator. Nothing is more dreadful to me than waking up and realizing that they are still there in my bed and now my piece of ass has become a pain in my ass. I have come to believe most men can easily be categorized in one of 10 morning-after personalities:

1. The Straggler – This is the guy who takes forever getting ready to leave. Whether it be his 5-minute-long morning-woody pee or his inability to gather up all his belongings and get up out of there, the straggler will stay until forcibly removed.

2. The Talker - This is the guy who will talk as a means to extend his stay. He either talks because of he is nervous or extremely desperate for friends. Either way, that voice will resonate like thunder in your aching head and you will want to stab him in the throat with a pencil just to make him shut the hell up. Seriously.

3. The Beggar - This is the guy who mistakes you for a Waffle House line cook and expects breakfast. Give this one a Yahoo Map to the nearest McDonalds and get him the hell out of there before he demands you do his laundry too.

4. The Co-Dependent – This is the guy who mistakes a night of throwing down in the sack as the beginning of a new relationship. This is definitely not the way to meet your future ex-husband, but rest assured, you’ve just met your new stalker.

5. The Liar - This is the guy who just happened to forget one tiny little detail - that he’s married or in a long-term relationship or that he still lives with his mother. No need to give this one a fake number, he won’t be calling for sure.

6. The Jerk - This is the guy who wakes up as Mr. Hyde. Even Ted Bundy made good first impressions, so don’t beat yourself up over this bad judgment call. Make sure you tell him how bad he is in bed as you slam the door shut behind him.

7. The Sleeper Creeper - You cannot wake up this one. He sleeps like he is in a coma and no matter how loud you drop things, yawn, yell at your dog, anything to make it seem like you are not trying to be loud, you cannot accidentally rouse him. You must figure out a way to wake him despite it being awkward or he will be there until noon and you will be a prisoner of this sleeping beauty’s R.E.M. cycles.

8. The Stud - Here is a man who is insatiable. He’s still drunk, you’re still drunk, he’s still horny, you’re still horny. Better call off work that day because this one-night stand may be more like a one-night-morning-and-afternoon stand.

9. The Elephant Man - WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? Tequila! Helping women lower their standards for years! Do whatever you have to do to get this one out, sight unseen and don’t feel bad, you just made his century!

10. The Gentleman - this is the guy who awakes before you, cleans up the beer cans and does the dishes without trying to disrupt your sleep. If you really lucky, he also politely shows himself to the door and locks it behind him- my personal favorite!

Please remember the key to a sucessfull one-night stand, is to keep confined to ONE NIGHT! This list was not based upon real people or events (yeah, right). No animals were injured in the making of this post.