Most girls wait their whole lives for that magical 4-word question... "would you marry me?", I however am not most girls. I was recently asked this question- and unlike all the mushy proposals on television commercials and in the movies where the girl's eyes fill with tears of joys and there is kissing and hugging- my reaction was to grab a backpack, fill it with my shower necessities and run with it. The hints had been dropping for weeks including an accidental call from the jewelers and I knew it was coming. I tried to head it off by refusing to go anywhere with him that could produce the romantic environment that could result in a proposal. I tried having all my closest friends tell him how scared of i am of commitment (i get nausau signing a two-year cell phone contract!). But stubborn him, in his quest to prove he doesn't need to heed anyone's advice... he asks me anyhow. I said NO. I just aint ready for that, I wanna be like goldie hawn and kurt russel, ya know, just live together in sin for life perhaps, but if that happens, i dont want to plan that. I want my future to just happen, no plans no commitments and no contracts. I guess I can't handle security and stability, I am afraid of it, I loathe making plans...

But mostly, I love men, I love their bodies and their cocks, I love learning what turns them on and kissing them, I love the smell of their cologne, I love the way their muscles feel, I LOVE FUCKING MEN!! I really don't know how I am going to learn to be monogomous... It is the single hardest thing I have ever done. It just doesn't seem natural to me to be with just one - forever...It isn't my nature... maybe i am a slut, whore, evil bitch, but i just like to think i am a conniseur of men, of the male anatomy... obviously, i am just not marriage material... maybe an open marriage, but eww...
But how can you know in only a few months time that you are 100% sure you have found the ONE person who can satisify your sexual urges and curiousities for the REST of your ACTIVE SEXUAL LIFE?? I don't believe that is enough time. I always said, the only reason i would ever get married is for the alimony, and i like this one enough to not want to do that to him...